Coming Back

Coming back to art after an 8 year hiatus is pretty scary.  In fact, in the book Art and Fear, by David Bayles and Ted Orland, they talk about the difference between quitting and stopping: 

"Quitting is fundamentally different than stopping.  The latter happens all the time.  Quitting happens once.  Quitting means not starting again---and art is all about starting again." 

The truth is, I thought I had quit.  Most of my family and my close friends thought I had stopped and that I would eventually pick up a brush again.  At the time, I thought that if I started painting again and then had to stop all over again, it would kill me.  Stopping the last time was really painful.  And the truth of the stopping then was all about money.  I read once that only 65,000 people in this country actually make a living from their art.  That includes all kinds of art: visual, writing, music, performance.  At the time I stopped, I was making money, just not nearly enough to support my family.  So for many artists, the fear is all about making art that's not good enough.  "Good enough" being defined as positive critical acclaim.  But for many of us (most of us?) "good enough" also means "sells enough" to support yourself and your family at some level above poverty.  Positive critical acclaim and sales often go hand in hand.  But not always.  And the problem with making art evenings and weekends while you drive to your "real" job in Silicon Valley every weekday is that your art is then considered your "hobby".  And that is just about the worst thing anyone every said about my work.

So, I am back now.  I didn't quit afterall.  I stopped.  And I am re-reading Art and Fear again and again.  It's a really awesome book on the fear and rewards of making art.  I have posted a link.  Buy it!  Read it!  If you think you quit, maybe you just stopped.  And even if you don't paint or write or play an instrument, maybe you just haven't started yet.